All stand up for cardigan man,
spreading truth across the land;
with his wheels of wisdom in his hand,
all false idols turn to sand.
The audience rise up to applaud,
for his pen is mightier than any sword.
Cardigan man knows it is best,
to never go out without your vest.
Chorus: All stand up for cardigan man
See his wheels gently spinning,
beneath his beard he is grinning;
testing out his hypothesis-
that pullover girl needs a kiss.
Chorus
spreading truth across the land;
Chorus
Cardigan man knows it is best,
Chorus
to never go out without your vest.